Terms and Conditions
Comprehensive End User License Agreement
(Covers ALL PlayerPla.Net Interactive Media Experiences)
This license governs all use of ANY PlayerPla.Net Interactive Media Experience (hereafter, "Product") which includes, but is not limited to: Software (PlayerPla.Net Website, Video Games (Downloaded or Persistent on User-Possessed Physical Media, and all content posted by Sonicus to X and Rumble), Hard Goods (Physical Merchandise such as Handcrafted Original Items, Manufactured Items such as Tabletop Role-Playing, Board, and Card Games), and Alternate Reality Games.
Your initial and continued use of the Product will be construed as understandment of, and agreement with, all the terms and conditions specified herein.
These terms are immediately and perpetually binding on you, but subject to change at the discretion of Sonicus. For practical reference, consider this agreement comparable to the Wizards of the Coast OGL or whatever Unity ends up with on its next attempt at a license structure.
You agree that you do NOT own the software. You have a license to use the software as long as you are permitted to under the current and future Terms.
You agree that you do NOT own the computer or other device on which you use the Software. You have a license to use the computer or device unless and until Sonicus, at his discretion, comes to your home to take possession of it.
You agree that you do NOT own the home or other building in which you use the Software. You have a license to use the building until or unless Sonicus, at his discretion, comes to the building and occupies it. If Sonicus exercises this option, you explicitly agree not to object if he raids your refrigerator.
You agree that you do NOT own physical goods that you purchase from the website or from Sonicus directly. You have a license to possess those items unless and until agents of the Pinkerton's Detective Agency arrive at your home to reclaim them if hired by Sonicus to do so.
You agree not to resist nor threaten the Pinkerton's agents. Additionally, you agree not to go on social media and whine about them. This explicitly includes not bothering Sonicus about how much he complained over Hasbro hiring the Pinkerton's to repossess merchandise from customers. Those customers did not agree to those terms with Hasbro, but you already have agreed to these terms with PlayerPla.Net, by reading this EULA, which meets the definition of "initial and continued use" as specifed in the first paragraph.
You agree that you do NOT own the home or other building in which you use the Hard Goods. You have a license to use the building until or unless Sonicus, at his discretion, comes to the building and occupies it. If Sonicus exercises this option, you explicitly agree not to object if he raids your refrigerator.
You agree that you, and all other members of your "Party" who have played any PlayerPla.Net tabletop product, forfeit bodily autonomy in the the event that Sonicus needs any of you to become part of a Human Centipede. You agree not to complain about your position in the Centipede, and you agree not cause undue pain on those stitched to you by trying to escape.
You agree that all disputes arising from your use of Products will be resolved through single combat with edged weaponry. You agree to pay all of your own travel expenses, as well as those of Sonicus, to the duel's location, which he will choose and reveal to you.
You agree that when Sonicus defeats you, he will claim your viscera, and if desired, your purtenance. This condition is explicitly binding on your heirs, who agree in advance not to prevent the extraction, nor to cry about it afterwards. Further, you agree that if you are an organ donor, you will make all necessary arrangements with your state's authorities to rescind that designation prior to the duel, so that rightful collection by Sonicus is not impeded.